John Smith
by The Wordsmithy
Summary: The Doctor and Martha accidentally travel to Virginia in the 1600's and meet a man with brilliant ideas but an unfortunate name. Perhaps they can help him find a new one.


A man stood on the shores of Virginia. Some distance away was the colony of Jamestown, and while he knew he should probably be there with the other men in case a council meeting was held, he wanted to be alone for a while. The promise of adventure and an exciting life in the New World were all well and good, but if you were an important leader and had a name like his, you ran the risk of not being taken seriously.

He turned around at the sound of a whooshing, creaking noise from behind. In the same direction as the sound's source, a strange blue box materialized from seemingly nowhere. Its shape was solid after a loud thump, and two people emerged – a tall man in a brown suit, and a dark-skinned woman who was talking to him.

"So, Doctor, where are we now?" she said.

"Well, I don't know. Why don't we ask this fellow over here?"

He grinned as he walked up to the man who had been standing on the shore before this strange arrival. "Hello, I'm the Doctor. Who are you?"

The colonist stepped back, looking in amazement at the strangers. "I – who are you?"

"I told you," said the Doctor. "I'm the Doctor."

"You know, I don't think he quite gets it," said the girl.

"How 'bout you try explaining it to him, Martha?" the Doctor suggested.

The man walked past them to look at the TARDIS. "You came – from that box? How did you do _that_?"

"You could call it foreign technology," said the man who called himself the Doctor. "I'm not from here, wherever _here_ is."

"Are you from Spain?" the English settler said. "I thought the Spaniards had given up their quest for the New World because they no longer had the funds. But if they were inventing _this_, then I can see why their efforts were halted."

Martha laughed. "We're not _Spanish_. Can't you hear our accents?"

"Yes, but one never knows."

"See, this man's good," the Doctor said to his companion. "He doesn't look at the obvious. 'Are you Spaniards?' he says. 'Well, you sound English, but maybe the Spaniards are faking it, you never know.'"

Again, Martha laughed at his joke. "So, Spaniards and the English are at odds with each other to discover the New World?"

"You know your American History, right?" said the Doctor. "This is America! Well, it's going to be America. Not the America you know about in your time, but that's what it'll become." The Doctor sighed happily. "Oh, you humans. Always looking for bigger and better things to explore."

"You're definitely a _foreigner_, then," said the Englishman. "Maybe you know what you're doing more than I know what I'm doing."  
"And what are you doing?" said the Doctor. "You helping out with the colony or something? Which colony is this? I'm sorry, I'm a bit rubbish at American history."

"Jamestown," was the answer. "This is the settlement of Jamestown. And I'm trying to get the rest of the council to listen to me, but I don't believe they give me much credibility."

"Well, I wouldn't either if I was listening to someone who had stupid ideas," said the Doctor. "Assuming, of course, that your ideas are stupid. What _are_ your ideas?"

"I have a policy I want to implement," said the settler. "This crew was made almost entirely of 'gentlemen', and because of it, they don't think they have to work."

"That's rubbish," said the Doctor. "If they came here, they really have no reason not to work."

"That's what I'm trying to tell them!" said the settler. "You understand it. You understand the change I want to see. I have this idea – 'he who does not work shall not eat'."

"A bit harsh, maybe," said Martha.

"Harsh? No, it's not," said the Doctor. "It's only harsh if it's not fair. That sounds very fair, sir. I like it." The Doctor gave an approving, slightly loony grin.

"I'm glad there is someone in the New World who sees the sense in my idea," said the English settler. "The council does not agree with me. They won't even let me speak. It may have something to do with my name."

"What's your name?" said the Doctor.

"It's –" The settler took a deep breath as he braced himself to share his embarrassing name. "My name is Hubert Howard Wormbuckle."

"Hubert…Howard…Wormbuckle…" The Doctor pulled a tissue from his pocket and pretended to blow his nose; it was a good way of hiding the fact that he wanted to laugh. Martha covered her face to hide the smile.

"Go on, laugh," said Mr. Wormbuckle. "It's a stupid name, and I think it's why no one wants to listen to me."

The Doctor put a hand on Hubert's shoulder sympathetically. "Look – I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have laughed." He looked behind him at Martha, who was giggling slightly. "Martha." His expression turned into something between a disapproving gaze and a death glare.

"Sorry." The girl stuck her hands in her pockets and looked down.

"But," the Doctor continued, "maybe I can help."

"Are you going to go to the council and tell them to listen to me?" said the settler. "That would be very kind of you."

"Um –" The Doctor backed up. "It _would_ be kind of me, yes, but it's a rule of mine, see – no interfering with the affairs of other peoples and planets."

"Which is a blatant lie," Martha called out.

"Yeah, but I really don't think this would be a very good affair to interfere with. But, Howard Hubert Wormbuckle, maybe there's some advice I can offer."

"What is it?" the settler said, his voice rising with hope.

"Sometimes, I find myself in situations where I have to use a false name," said the Doctor. "Because, you know, sometimes 'the Doctor' isn't good enough for everyone else."

"Yes, about that," said the settler. "What is that, with you calling yourself 'the Doctor'? Doctor who?"

"That's beside the point," the Doctor said. "The point is that, if your real name isn't working, maybe you can use another one."

The Englishman began to smile. "I like that. That could work."

"I usually call myself 'John Smith'," said the Doctor. "It's a common enough name. I don't mind if you use it."

"John Smith!" the settler exclaimed. "I like that! Now there's a name that no one could ever make fun of! From this moment on, I am no longer Howard Hubert Wormbuckle! I am…John Smith!" He began to run off. "Goodbye, Doctor, and thank you! I'm off to tell the council that John Smith has some plans for them!"

The Doctor waved at him. "Yeah, okay, bye!"

"I guess we're done here, then," said Martha.

"Yeah, I think so, too." The Doctor and his companion headed back to the TARDIS. Neither of them said anything until he was back at the controls. The Doctor had a vague thought in his head, as though he was missing something very important.

"Doctor? What's wrong?" said Martha.

"Wrong?" The Doctor looked to her. "Nothing's _wrong_, it's just…"

And then it hit him.

"Martha, in anything you studied about American history, did you ever learn the name of the man who saved Jamestown?"


End file.
